Transformers 2

It’s about time that I reviewed another film that will get a very low rating. A film and director that I despise so much that I probably could go on for 3,000 words about how terrible they are. But will I? Probably not. They aren’t worth it. This film is devoid of any type of actual story that is even remotely interesting. The direction style is choppy, frantic, and confusing. Is Michael Bay’s goal to make his audience hate him by the end of the film? I think it might be. Instead of T2: Revenge of the Fallen it should’ve been titled – T2: Megan Fox running in Slow Motion. There is seriously a 20-minute scene where she’s just aimlessly running through the desert, dodging explosions, while in slow motion with no bra on. That’s just pure cinema – thanks Michael Bay! (s a r c a s m).

No need for a trailer of this garbage

MB couldn’t have fit more explosions into this film if he wanted to. Every other scene there is some crazy camera spinning technique and million dollar pyrotechnic spectacle. I guess if anything this film is visually arresting. No thanks to Mr. Bay. The visual effects team did do an excellent job crafting these machines that transform from cars into robots. Other than that, there are no redeeming qualities in this film to speak of. Oh, and I’m pretty sure that Michael Bay has a fetish that involves animals having sex or humping. Like in BAD BOYS 2 where the rats are humping, here we find a dog humping a duck. Bravo Mr. Bay, you’ve left us with quite a cinematic masterpiece that will live on for years… Not.

And he better not try to remake THE BIRDS and ROSEMARY’S BABY as I’ve heard through the grapevine. That would be a punishable by death offence. Leave the classics alone. There is no need to add explosions, terrible acting, and empty story lines to films that already are timeless.

Rating: 2/10